


Drifting

by eek4444



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-18
Updated: 2015-08-18
Packaged: 2018-04-15 10:15:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4602933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eek4444/pseuds/eek4444
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam sees it a lot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Drifting

**Author's Note:**

> A very short fic, just over 500 words, from Sam's perspective. Written in the present tense which I despise, and I'm not particularly good at writing fluffy fics with no comedy or death or long, rambling description, so it may be very bad.

Sam sees it a lot.   
He sees it when Dean fiddles with the hem of Cas' sleeves as they sit at a greasy table in yet another diner.   
He sees it when Cas stares just a little too long, too long even for him, at Dean with an expression on his face which is so calm and fond that it seems too intimate to be watched.   
He sees it when they sit a little too close together in a bar; Cas' leaning back against Dean's arm as Dean orders three beers and chats with the barman and smiles over his shoulder at Cas, breathing in a deep breath as if to just breathe him in and never forget him.   
But he sees it far clearest now. The room is comfortable; it's a motel but it's better than they would usually splash out on. There are two beds as usual, and Dean is lying across his own while Sam works at the table, his laptop screen lighting his face with an alien glow. Cas sits somewhat awkwardly on a chair by the window. His eyes are fixed on Dean, blue and deep, and Sam watches him over the top of his laptop. Dean is sleeping, an arm outstretched, the other across his stomach, and his eyelids flicker slightly. His body is turned towards Cas, and Sam thinks he probably fell asleep holding Cas' gaze.   
It's quiet and warm. Sam wonders if this is the closest he'll ever have to happiness, because it is happy, this moment. There's none of the frenzied fear of death that constantly hangs over them, instead there seems to be a glimmer of hope. In what exactly, Sam doesn't know.   
He takes a sip of his coffee to try and coax his heart down from were it seems to be lodged in his throat. Cas glances his way with an almost apologetic look, as if asking his permission to do something. Sam hopes he can't see the near tears that are gathering in his eyes, or hear how much of a crack there is in his voice when he speaks.   
"I'm really happy for you, Cas. Dean deserves you," he can hear the ridiculous shake, "and you deserve him." He doesn't feel like he needs to say anything else.   
Cas smiles at him and it seems to light up the room and blow it apart with pure happiness. Sam does succumb to tears, letting them fall unchecked down his face as he watches Cas move to where Dean sleeps and place a hand on his cheek. It's a gentle touch, so careful and full of meaning that Sam thinks he shouldn't be watching this. He doesn't move though. Cas sits and Sam sees the bed dip slightly and Dean murmurs something in his sleep. When Dean rolls sideways and Cas lifts his head into his lap, stroking his hair back from his face with a tender hand, Sam feels like he's intruding on something too private. His tears are still falling as he shuts his laptop and makes for the door, but he doesn't know wether he's crying because of Dean and Cas or because of the way that his own past is rushing back, bittersweet and cold, the memories of what he could have had. Outside, he watches the sun set behind the mountains and the crisp fall leaves rattle in the parking lot and he dreams.


End file.
